The Seussification Of Romeo And Juliet Script -

A plague! A big plague! On both of your houses! May your pillows be lumpy! May your cows moo like mouses! I’m done for! I’m finished! I’ve stepped on a rake! Goodbye! I’m off to make glittery cake. (He exits, carried away by birds. ROMEO fights TYBALT. TYBALT falls.)

THE SEUSSIFICATION OF ROMEO AND JULIET

Drink this! You’ll look as dead as a doornail’s third cousin. Your family will weep. They’ll cry by the dozen. Then Romeo will find you, and you’ll wake with a sneeze, And run off to live with the Grickle-Bark trees! (She drinks. She flops. She looks very dead.) the seussification of romeo and juliet script

Oh no! Oh my! What a terrible pickle! I’ve squished him! I’ve smooshed him! Like a sad purple nickel! I must run away to a cave full of noodles! (He runs. JULIET is sad.) A plague

A Happily-Ever-After-ish Tale of Two Who-zits and a Whole Lot of Nonsense May your pillows be lumpy

What light through yonder waffle iron breaks? T’is a Sneetch! And a glorious Sneetch, for goodness sakes! Her hair is like fizz-floss, her nose like a pootle. I’ll marry this creature and name her my Skittle! JULIET-GAZZ (giggles): A Montague? Gasp! A terrible pickle! My family will grumble and throw a loud nickel! But who cares for nickels? Who cares for a name? A rose by a smell-smell still smells the old same! (They hold hands. A small dog in a hat sneezes. They kiss. It sounds like a “Zoop!”)

What is this nonsense? This rhyme-ridden mess? This Dr.-Seuss-ified tragic distress? Two kids from two families, dead on the floor Because of a squabble about who slammed a door? CAPULET (crying): I’m sorry, Montague! You’re not such a creep! MONTAGUE (crying more): You too, Capulet! Let’s hug and not weep! PRINCE TRUFFULA (shaking his head): A pox on both houses! A sneetch on each snoot! Next time, just use your words. Or a hula-hoop. For this is the lesson, as tall as a tree: Don’t fall in love at a loud, crazy party. (CURTAIN. A small mouse in a wig bows. Applause.)