He straightened the coat hanger and shoved it up the pipe. Scrape. Thud. Something shifted. He pulled it out. On the end was a black, tar-like slug the size of a gerbil. He flicked it into the bucket. It landed with the sound of a wet sponge hitting concrete.
Encouraged, he went deeper. The knitting needle followed. Push. Twist. Squelch. The pipe groaned. Water began to dribble from the bottom joint—not a good sign. That meant the blockage was below the joint. how to clear blocked downpipes
She fetched a plunger. Not a toilet plunger—a heavy-duty drain plunger with a rubber cone. She sealed it over the bottom outlet of the downpipe. "Now go upstairs," she said, "and pour a bucket of hot water down the top." He straightened the coat hanger and shoved it up the pipe
Not metaphorically. Yellow-brown water was actually trickling down from the ceiling light fitting, dripping onto his prize-winning marrows with a sad, rhythmic plink . The culprit was obvious: the downpipe outside. It was gurgling like a dying walrus every time a cloud passed over. Something shifted
Arthur bought Gladys a bottle of whisky. He cleaned his mother-in-law’s knitting needle. And he learned the true moral of the story: Don’t push the problem down. Clear it from the bottom. And if all else fails, find an old lady who knows where the real blockage is.
Arthur remembered a YouTube video. "Use a garden hose," the man with too many teeth had said. "Ram it up there." Arthur rammed. He turned the tap to full. For ten glorious seconds, nothing happened. Then the pipe shuddered, made a noise like a bear giving birth, and a geyser of black, leaf-infused water shot out of the top of the pipe, directly into his face.
He stood there, dripping, tasting the flavour of 2019’s autumn. He had not cleared the pipe. He had simply taught it to spit.
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