To Drugs: A Boy Who Lost Himself

The vanishing was not sudden. It happened in slow, almost imperceptible degrees, like a photograph left in the sun. At first, there were only small things: a missed curfew, grades that slipped from A’s to C’s, a new set of friends whose laughs were a little too loud, a little too sharp. His parents noticed, of course. But they told themselves it was just a phase. Teenagers test boundaries; it is what they do. They did not yet understand that some boundaries, once crossed, become doors that only open one way.

The drug of choice was not some exotic, cinematic poison. It was pills. Leftover opioids from a grandfather’s surgery, bought from a classmate who had a cousin with a prescription. White, small, unremarkable. The first one made Liam feel like he had finally arrived home to a place he never knew he was missing. The second one made the world softer, blurring its sharp edges. The third one made him forget, for a few hours, that he had ever been anxious or lonely or afraid. a boy who lost himself to drugs

He lost himself so completely that eventually, he stopped looking for the person he used to be. The boy who wanted to be a poet died a quiet death, not with a bang but with a surrendered sigh. In his place was a stranger: hollow-eyed, twitching, capable of things the seventh-grade Liam would have found monstrous. He sold his mother’s jewelry. He forged checks. He sat on curbs in the rain, waiting for a dealer who was two hours late, and he did not wonder anymore what his life was supposed to look like. The vanishing was not sudden

And that was the trap. Liam had not started using to get high. He started using to get low—to turn down the volume on a brain that never stopped thinking, to quiet a heart that felt things too deeply. The drugs did not steal his soul in a single dramatic night. They borrowed it, a little at a time, promising always to give it back. His parents noticed, of course